Narcissm and self love. How are they related?

image

Ego – a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance, is an integral part of every human being. The self over the others, allows us to think independently and act accordingly. But isn’t this self love also leading to quite a lot of overconfidence and puffed up self importance that do not gel well in an interdependent society?

The recent trend of loving yourself and being selfish of your own needs before the others, is only breeding a generation of independent human beings that do not give a care about the world around them. They believe that by unburdening themselves of the responsibility of the society at large, they will be able to retain their ego and self-respect. They do not realize that it is just leading to traits like narcissm.

We are who we are, not just because of what we accomplished individually, but the relationships we maintained through it all. Humans are interdependent creatures. We require praise and applause at our achievements from people around us, to strive even harder than we would have done alone. So this narcisstic behaviour is only creating more loneliness in the person’s life.

Due to the advent of technology, many have been able to hide behind their screens, what they really feel on a day to day basis, and thus act like everything’s perfect to fan their egos. But what they get out of it, is a few ‘likes and comments’of pleasure. After that, it’s back to reality where people don’t respect them, even with their constant efforts otherwise. They eventually drown into depression and isolate themselves to keep up their charade.

Self love is good, as long as it does not come at the expense of losing your loved ones, or, your identity altogether, since you will not able to catch up with your own imaginary ‘self’. Narcissm should not be encouraged and humbleness needs to be brought back. Being able to recognize yourself and help elevate others at the same time is a character trait that we all need in such desolate times.

“Love yourself in the correct dosages and you will come to                love others and their existence as well”

How far are we from the green reality?

image

Lawns of green grasses and romances under the green trees, with lakes flowing beautifully beside. Happiness in everything green. So where is all this green we imagine? Where are all the trees and meadows that we envision in our digital world? Where have they all gone?

Let’s go green, make the environment greener, plant more trees- all advertised on pamphlets and boards trying to seek attention from the spectators, who might be willing to take a glance. But how many act on it? Each and every one of us push the responsibility onto the other and play ‘pass the ball’, with nature’s destruction following each pass.

We talk and spread awareness about what exactly? Climate change, global warming, melting of ice. Well it’s for those environmentalists to take care of, isn’t it? Why should we bother? It is long overdue for us to have realized, the potential of each individual contributing to this earth as much as he derives from it.

Small acts of kindness directed to the planet we inhabit is all that it takes. Don’t throw the trash on the streets. Save that plastic bag for a future use. Try to walk where you can. Don’t throw those papers until they have been completely utilised. Recycle on a daily basis. Make it a habit. No one is asking one person to fix it all. But doesn’t it all start with that single person? Do right and the others will follow.

Habit is made in trying and not in waiting for the right moment.

The fake exterior and the pitiful interior

image

The insignificant thing (or hoped to be one) that keeps our life together – money. It influences our lives in many ways. With the huge amount of wealth flowing in for some specific group of people, cities and richness have been created. And then, there are the people who inhabit these places and positions. The perfectly perfect individuals who go about their life as monotonously as possible. They like perfection and they gravitate to making it happen at all costs.

Pretend to be someone they are not. Wear and spend more than what they can afford. Be and act to be a person that they are not. Keep up the facade of perfection for all to see. They try their best to be someone they are definitely not. Make sure to stay on trend, nevertheless of the circumstances they are in. Materialism is outstreched to its indefinite depths for these pitiful creatures.  They kill their mind and soul in trying to achieve something that is out of their reach.

Originality and uniqueness is losing its touch. It is not encouraged to stand out but to blend in. Be what everyone else is and in this process they lose themselves. ‘Fake it till you make it’ is a good proverb for acheiving specific personal goals, but it does not translate to changing yourself for the benefit of the beholder rather than yourself.

Be you. Be the person you want to be. Try not to run behind perfection and external satisfaction. Be happy and keep your mind and soul internally satisfied.

All that you are and will be, is your decision. So don’t fake it, but take it in stride.

Good or bad..Do they ever intersect?

image

We are  born and brought up, then we give birth and raise, and so goes the cycle of life. The things we learn are either instilled in us while we were young or we learn them through the experiences we face in our life. The bad and good are distinguished with a border line that should never be crossed- is what we are taught.

As we wade through the sea that is life, we tend to do good and bad in various measures, at times regretting them and at times reminiscing those moments that proved to you what was right and what was wrong. The good does not always end up with victory and the bad with loss.

‘We learn as we act’ is a phrase that could not have gotten anymore precise. The good that one person taught us might not appear to be great in the face of some circumstances and the bad that they prohibited us from, might be beneficial in some cases. There are actions, thoughts and feelings that are universally categorized into either of these compartments and there is no denying it. But are they always separate? Could they not intermingle in different details? Could what we perceive as something, be the right opposite for another?

‘Live and let live’- Good cannot exist without bad and vice versa is a known fact; so let us live in peace, knowing and modifying our moral compass from time to time and not forcing our values down someone else’s throat.

Let’s see the good in bad and the bad in good as well, shall we?

Weather and Mood Forecasting!!

image

High end technologies have helped us realize what we can expect of nature anytime, even if not accurately, but have we, in our arrogance, dictated to ourselves that there are different moods that befit each season and weather?

Why does autumn be made calm, winter shrivelled, summer enjoyed and spring lively? Why can’t it all have its own characteristics and still be loved and looked forward to?

Our body reacts to nature’s changes differently and this can lead to some difficulties. But would we survive if we were any farther from the sun? Would our crops stay alive, if not for the pouring rain? We have the option of looking at it from a selfish point of view, or there’s always the other side of the nature that we simply dont appreciate.

What does it take to look up at the sun and not think about skin cancer and sun burns but just enjoy the light as it hits you with its rays. Is it very hard to soak in the rain and smile at the clouds for sending us this wonderful gift? Look at all those green plants and the animals settling in their new habitats. They are creating a world of their own, right under your nose. The brown red leaves that mess up your yard, also adds lush colours, to the otherwise barren land.

Let us not categorise our seasons and weathers into different moods and expectations. Love all the weathers and it will all love you back.

Light me up, let me soar to the skies,
Make me green, so that I may thrive,
Send me shivers, I will fight,
And let the leaves fall, I love to pick them all.

Love me like you love yourself..

image

Why is it so hard to accept others as they are? You accept yourself for what you are. The whole package of good and bad. You know your weaknesses and your sins. But you know that you will love yourself nonetheless. So why cant you accept the others the same? With their good and their bad. With their flaws and their strength. It does not take much to skirt over what you don’t like and see what you like. So why can’t you do the same for a fellow being?

The world reprimands us for not loving ourselves. But does it tell us to love others as well? Has it taught us to accept even in the face of things that we are born not to like. Has it told us that it is okay to accept in others what we don’t accept in ourselves.

Moving forward and seeing success equates to being able to accept with wide arms. Accept what you dont even believe in. You might come to believe it after all. With new experiences gathered, you will be ready to stand up and see the world in different colours, not in the black and white film that your moral and traditional compass normally sees. Strive for forgiveness and acceptance, and you might be striving for success after all.

“Look at others how you look at yourself”

Self-less love and Selfish love- How are they so different?

selfless love

Where should I start? The fact that I don’t know how to describe it or the fact that it is too rare to have been witnessed. Some posts, some pictures, some stories of love don’t just touch our hearts, but our souls as well. It brings tears to our eyes and hope to our mind, of their being something more to humanity than what we see around us on a daily basis.

Selfish love is easy to begin and easier to end. You start with your satisfaction in mind and if mutual, end up falling in love. And if you ever feel it is not right, you walk away only to the detriment of the other, or at times, even their pleasure at getting rid of you. This type of love works and I do not stand against it. It is just lacking that element of “I would die for you if that was what you wanted”,the part which makes us open ourselves to each other. Not afraid of sharing or depending, knowing that there will never come a day to doubt or fear.

“I will love her/him unconditionally, even if they are mine or not.”Isn’t that quite a rare thing? A real diamond among the gems. People who actually push their feelings and emotions aside, just for the happiness of the other. Even if it does not increase their status or help them in getting the person they love. And if they do end up with their lover, well isn’t that a beautiful love story to be told! There is no end to what they can do to keep each other happy for the rest of their lives together. “Till death do us part”, is a phrase that fits quite well for these selfless lovers. And to this day, this kind of love is something that everyone needs to see or feel in their life, to really know the depths of humanity in its extreme beautiful form.

“For a human soul to experience the beauty of itself, you need to give into the other, what you never had”

Why are people as selfish as they are?

download

It seems like a question of loyalty over wants and desires. Some love to just lie flat when asked or prodded for some support. Some just boast of their wants and act to be at the mercy of the world. Will you support me? ‘No. I have to take care of myself’. Do what I have to, and fulfill it completely, even at the cost of other’s heads’. The selfish ones  don’t care what the other person requires, but all they care and have eye for, is the gold right ahead. ‘No, I am not going to spare a left or right turn, neither a U-turn, to help and pull the others out of their miseries too’. ‘What! Lose all that precious time. Oh no!  I can’t do that friend. I am so sorry but I need to do this for me’.

The world doesn’t shut down for you if you were not able to attend that wedding or that match or was not able to do all that your friends could do. It’s just another thing that provides a momentary rush of happiness. You are giving that more importance than your own relationships that should have mattered even more. Not a single person in this planet is completely independent. Even though some of us might covet it, it is an impossible feat. We require each other for emotional, physical and professional settings. So the more you cut out the webs that connect your life, mate, I have to forewarn you, you are officially heading to doom. Just like a web breaking with a single swipe, so does life give out its harsh realities to those who forget- Forget that they are part of a bigger picture and therefore do not have to be so possessive of what are theirs and even at times suck it out of others.

Be selfish about your goals but not about the fact that others are as human as you are. Go your path but don’t trample others path along the way. Let them go their way and try not to block their way with the rocks and boulders you move away from yours. Unintentional occurrences are not in your control. But intentionally hurting others can only bring you misfortunes later on in life. Live and let live. Make it your day to day motto and things are definitely going to improve. The more you make sure of your intentions to yourself and to others, the clearer your life and goals get.

What it feels like to be an Eleutheromaniac..

FREEDOM

Freedom in the air- an expression quite commonly used but rarely felt. What does it feel like to be really free? It’s not just the general meaning of it but the inner meaning of it, that we – eleutheromaniac’s- want to feel. To be alive and full inside out. What is the real impression of freedom?

We are given our rights to freedom of speech, expression and such, but do we become happy within ourselves because of these? For each of us individually, the word ‘freedom’ can take on different meanings according to our personal lives. Some want to be independent in their personal as well as professional lives. Some want time away from people to really get the gist of what their life means to them. And in being able to follow through with these wishes, it can rise their spirits and help them achieve much more than they ever imagined.

Eleutheromaniac’s can really understand the meaning of freedom and they are really looking forward to breaking through their barriers and getting out of their respective comfort zones.They do not want to follow through with the society’s guide but they want to create their own. ‘Make one’s life one’s own’ means a lot to us and it can get us really down if we are not able to do what we want.This does not stop us from striving harder and it should not stop you all as well. Keep dreaming and create your own life out of what you have and what you can have.

“Use freedom as your guide, and freedom will guide you through.”

Heartbreak, Anguish and…?

Heartbreak_EL_20111111_2 The wall grows bigger and so does my doubt,

The distance grows farther and so does my hold.

Is this it? Is this what they call the falling out?,

Is this it? Is this what they call the ‘no feeling’ zone?.

I hope for more, I hope for tomorrow,

I hope for me, I hope for mine.

This cannot end like this can it? No it can’t, can it?,

This is not the end right? No it can’t be, can it?.

I look out and search. Search for what is right?,

‘For what is right?’, Is that the right question?.

I lie down facing his backside. That is when it struck,

He is no more is he? No more to me and my life.